Are you crackers?

Oh boy!!!

I am torn between laughing and saying what were you thinking?

How, with all that family, did the person least likely to cook volunteer to cater for the whole festive period? Actually, that doesn't matter, however we do have to get you out of this potential mess...

The way I see it, you can

a) Fake illness
b) Go on holiday
c) Tell them it is a pot luck supper and so they all bring something
d) Forget tradition and all go out to a Chinese restaurant

Or, and I can't quite believe I am going to say it,

e) I teach you to cook in 24 days!!

Who is more bonkers, you for setting the challenge or me for agreeing to it?

Ok, so, first things first, how much of a Christmas dinner have you cooked before? And no, Aunt Bessies doesn't count!

Yours nervously


Christmas turkey? I'm stuffed...

Dear Ruth,

Help! Oh boy do I need it. My parents are coming for Christmas. And my brother. And my sister, partner in tow. Followed closely by my other brother wife (his) and my two year old nephew. No animals mind, just those.

But as you know, I can’t really cook. I live alone, so no knowledgeable or helping hands. And there are only a few more sleeps till Christmas (I think that’s the language you mums and dads use?)

I can get about as far as roasting a chicken with a lemon stuffed up its...

With the number of mouths that you feed all day every day, and the constant praise from your inspired friends, I was wondering if you could, well, teach me? Train me? Butter me up, no sorry, that’s not the right phrase, but I’m sure butter will be involved.

I have two meals to sort. Christmas day for 4 and Boxing day for the full house. Where do I start? Aunt Bessie and her Yorkshire puddings perhaps?

Yours hopefully